Tag Archives: relationships

Guaranteed Picture Perfect Moments

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by Christie Perkins

Sometimes we think we know what is best for us.

Yeah, we think we have it all figured all out. You know, it’s the perfect, flawless, plan. In our heads the picture is complete. We actually think we know all of the details of what is best for us. And then (because we claim the teenage syndrome of “all knowing”) sometimes question why prayers aren’t being answered. We wonder if we are being heard at all.

Guaranteed Picture Perfect MomentsBut if we step back we will realize that our picture’s not quite perfect: we are just a kindergartners attempting to draw the perfect picture. As an adult it is easy to see that a person has shoulders, not just arms protruding from a neck that’s the same size as our thighs and hips. And there’s more to a simple line for our lips. A scraggly lined lip isn’t really fire engine red but a soft muted mauve.

Experience and prior mistakes in our own drawings tell us so. (Well that and my high school art teacher… who knew the eyeballs are not actually positioned on our hairline?) Continue reading →

How this Baseball Coach Taught Me to Coach my Kids

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by Christie Perkins

I have learned a great deal about coaching kids through others. Sometimes kids fall. Sometimes they mess up. Sometimes things don’t go quite right. Our response is crucial to their learning process of who they are. Of the many great coaches we have had in life, one moment stands firm in my mind. I feel impressed to share it with you today, not last week like I was going to.

Someone needed this today.

We all have coaches in life. Sometimes we are the coach. Sometimes we are the player. I learned something great through one of my boys’ baseball coach. I believe it is key to how we coach our kids, especially when they mess up.

“She turned to the sunlight And shook her yellow head,And whispered to her neighbor_ _Winter is dead.”(3)It was pouring rain. But we were playing ball anyway. Too many games have been cancelled this year already. And since the game started out dry that was good enough.

I huddled under layers of blankets with the denim quilt as my oversized poncho and hair destroyer. Lovely. The afghan wrapped around my arms and legs kept me mostly warm with frequent blasts of cold air finding its way through the holes.

Sly comments about a holey blanket in this mad weather kept coming back to me. Again, and again, and again… and I could see the obvious mistake. They were absolutely right. Continue reading →

How Dealing with Cancer is Like Building a House

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by Christie Perkins

If you have ever built a house you know the deep ditch neuro pathways you carve from overthinking details.

You even sometimes dream about the process… or have nightmares.

“She turned to the sunlight And shook her yellow head,And whispered to her neighbor_ _Winter is dead.”(1)You have lived in other places and you quickly categorize what you like and don’t like. You adopt and adapt from previous experience the things you should do for the next house. But some things you take for granted, like the placement of plugs. You don’t really think about those details because someone else does the thinking for that.

Unless you’ve had a bad experience with that.

In my last house I had one light switch in a bedroom that was vacationing halfway down the wall. Ok. Maybe not that far. But, you would practically jab your armpit with the door frame before you found the switch… and I always prayed that a spider wasn’t playing boogie man as I felt the wall.

That’s crawly (not to mention creepy). Continue reading →

The Key To Better Relationships: Stop & Refocus

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by Christie Perkins

A while back I prayed to find out what I needed to do to be a better mom (that was the gist of the prayer anyway). I wanted a little more mojo between us. Not that the kids and I had a bad relationship but I just wanted more relationship superglue before the teenage years hit. S A I L O R SC L U BYes, I wanted that uber connection-greed associated with moms and their midget genetic counterparts. A specific thought entered my mind:

…get off the computer when the boys get home.

Ah, yes.

Bingo. It was a good idea. I could see the benefit of this counsel. Sometimes those thoughts come and I shift my head back, turn my chin slightly to the side, and scrunch one eyebrow. That? That’s the answer? But not this time. This made perfect sense. Continue reading →

Good Night Kisses

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by Christie Perkins

Good Night KissesIt’s the same ritual every night. My internal clock alarms me it’s time for bed- but straight to bed is not the route I want.

Not yet.

I take a detour to the boys’ room and flip on the hall light. I’m not worried about waking them up because once they are asleep nothing disrupts their wonderland. Really, I turn the light on because there’s no use blowing kisses into a dark room, my aim may be off and the kiss would be wasted. Continue reading →

Be Someone’s Fan

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When Life Goes Kaput

by Christie Perkins

I was in the 6th grade. I ran for class secretary. I made a little poster up about all the cutesy little reasons you should vote for me. I used each letter of my name to highlight the perfect reason. Oh, they were all good, strong, verb words. Well thought through, great dictionary material. I was sure this was enough to get me what I wanted most in my 6th grade little brain. I was brave…

And overconfident.

2014 Fish Lake with Paxtons 213Not because I was cocky, it was quite the opposite. My face would burst into spontaneous flames if a cute boy glanced my direction- he was probably looking at the girl behind me. Anyway. But, still, no one tries these things unless they think they have a chance.

I remember when they announced my challengers name as winner. I faked a smile and pretended to be excited for her but that fat sour grape stuck in my throat hurt. Where did it come from anyway? It was making my eyes all watery. So, I did what I’ve always done in this type situation. Continue reading →

What? There’s Rain on My Parade!

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Tips to Overcoming a Change of Plans

by Christie Perkins

Perkins Family 08-12 01-13 034I have always loved the rain.  I like how it dusts off blades of grass and paints everything Crayola green.  I love the way it smells and how the chill of cool fresh air brushes my cheeks and curls around the back of my neck.  I love the tap dance of rain on cement and the grand applause from the rooftop.

I stop everything I am doing, rush to find a blanket, and hustle the kids outside.  We know it will only last a moment.  Poof!  Umbrellas pop and hover and stories emerge.  I flip out a smile when I watch temperature resistant kids submerge bare feet in puddles.  Goose bump inspired thoughts cause me to tug my blanket in just a bit tighter.  Continue reading →

Change Your Attitude, Change Your Outcome

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Just Tell Yourself “I’m Making Memories”

by Christie Perkins

“We’re just making memories!”

It was something Grandma always said when plans fizzled, plopped, or dropped; when the days course when askew or blew.

2014 Fish Lake with Paxtons 198

She always said it at the right moment.  At the flicker of a face scrunching episode she would immediately interject the distractor phrase: “we’re just making memories.”  The squished face always detoured and softened to a half smile.

“So true.” It was impossible to disagree and a little chuckle changed my perspective. Continue reading →

Chemo Hair Gets a Compliment

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Share Your Thoughts: Quit Keeping it a Secret

by Christie Perkins

baby blessing, etc 138“I love ‘urs’ hair Mommy.  It’s cute,”  my three year old said as he ran his fingers through my 1/2 inch stub of hair.

His timing could not have been more perfect.  I was laying in bed after a radiation treatment chalking up everything that I’ve lost control over since I started this cancer journey: money, my 1st graders empty reading calendar, my 3 1/2 year old who was still enjoying his soggy diapers, and selling and building a new house.  I was stressing about the day I go wigless in my new ward, and frustrated about my personal power cord fiasco from the chemo treatments…

All these thoughts were buzzing around in my head and bugging me. Continue reading →

Share The Truths You See In Others

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Build Up Those Around You With Words Of Truth

By Christie Perkins

Germany 6-12 072Gasp.   My little guy drew in his breath.

I was trying to listen to the speaker at church amid an acrobatic stunt.  You see, I was working on crushing my 4 year olds dreams of pursuing his talents… well, at least here on the church bench anyway.

I wasn’t even sure he was listening to the speaker because usually when the jaw’s flapping the ears are slacking.  I was anticipating that the lions and bears would be arriving any time soon. Continue reading →