Tag Archives: humor

The Redbox Bunny Miracle

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by Christie Perkins

I swear it was sitting right there.

The rush of the night had me winging the hairdo (yikes) and flinging the overdue redbox in the van. Well, actually I had my kiddo take care of the redbox. I had to return it because we were already late.

Last year we had this horrible habit of returning redbox rentals several days later. I made a new goal and commitment to make better use of my money. We would return movies the next night. And things were going well with that until…

Until, I don’t know what.

You know those moments when the redbox grins at you from the corner of the room and you gasp. Oh no! We haven’t returned that yet?

So we do that responsibility shift game. I ask my husband to take it on his way to work. Later that day he remembers he forgot to take it- so he texts me and asks me to take it in. And… I’m not sure what happens but I forget to take it. And before we know it my bank account it draining from a redbox rental.

And I didn’t love the movie that much to start with. Continue reading →

The Mysterious Masked Ma’am

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by Christie Perkins

It’s not Halloween. Yet, she sports a mysterious mask. And, quite frankly, it doesn’t match her outfit. So what’s the deal?

the-mysterious-masked-maamYeah. Well. Thank you white blood cells. It’s official: my white blood cells have turned into couch potatoes.

The doc expected the cells to perform in a week and in two weeks they were still on vacation being lazy and making me a little stir crazy. So I decided to venture out. But of course I take my baby blue mask to filter out germs.

I miss human life forms.

I put it on and only my eyes lop over the top. Holy cow this is not what I was imagining. Couldn’t they make it slip just over the lips? I feel… noticeable (to say the least) as it covers my entire face. My makeup job this morning was a waste. Yay. But I wear lipstick anyway. It makes me feel better. This mask is fabulous for a back row kind of gal. Wow. Well. At least if I get lost I’ll have my SOS gear intact. Continue reading →

Give Thanks for Fat Pants

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by Christie Perkins

give-thanks-for-fat-pantsGood news. Good, good, news.

I fit into my fat pants!

Yeah. I know. It’s not every day that you don’t fit into your pants that you get to laugh about it. But, quite frankly, I was tired of my flubber blubbering all over the edge of my pants. And besides this massive fat globules overhang was shading my feet from the sun.

Hence the white legs. Continue reading →

Kill The After School Cereal Snack With This One Hack

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by Christie Perkins

So. Everyone with school age kids loves a good deal on cereal. Am I right? Maybe it’s just a boy thing. I don’t know. The double dollar box stock is incredible but it disappears as quickly as it’s docked. Or so it seems.

Kill the After School Cereal Snack With This One Hack!It immediately becomes a prey to the after school chow down.

I frown. It would be nice if my amazing food stretching skills actually stretched into something more than a couple of weeks. Eeeks! I even try to hide the stuff but their sniffer is quicker than my thought process. Maybe if I actually prepared some fancy after school snack I could avoid this fiasco in the first place. Meh. But I don’t.

But, now that I think about it, I’m doing them a favor. I mean, really, just think of worst case scenario and living in a food deficit moment. My boys will not be waiting for their silver platter slathered in neatly arranged food chunks. No. They will search and scrounge up food to feed the bear growling in their stomach. They will survive because they will know how to hunt. Continue reading →

Top 10 Reasons You Need a New Phone

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by Christie Perkins

Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be noYep. That’s my real phone right there. It’s a beauty. I guess I should tell you it was my phone. Was. I took the bridge over to the new world and updated my phone. But I think I needed a special tribute, so here goes. This new phone is the second phone I’ve ever owned. It has a special place in my heart. Farewell. I will miss your troubles.

Psh, yeah right. Continue reading →

Heavenly Hashbrowns

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by Christie Perkins

Heavenly Hashbrowns (1)They were just hashbrowns. How hard could they be?

Well, since I was newly married and highly unexperienced in meal dealing (but wanted to impress my beau with my presumed amazing cooking skills… ahem, yes, presumed) I offered to take the hashbrown portion of the meal.

And that was the first wrong step.

My guy helped peel and cube the potatoes. Now, in any ordinary circumstance I would have turned to the skimp-on-valuable-time method (thank you frozen bag section). But, since we were camping, a bag of potatoes was our current resource. Continue reading →