Tag Archives: building relationships

How Dealing with Cancer is Like Building a House

Posted on by
6

by Christie Perkins

If you have ever built a house you know the deep ditch neuro pathways you carve from overthinking details.

You even sometimes dream about the process… or have nightmares.

“She turned to the sunlight And shook her yellow head,And whispered to her neighbor_ _Winter is dead.”(1)You have lived in other places and you quickly categorize what you like and don’t like. You adopt and adapt from previous experience the things you should do for the next house. But some things you take for granted, like the placement of plugs. You don’t really think about those details because someone else does the thinking for that.

Unless you’ve had a bad experience with that.

In my last house I had one light switch in a bedroom that was vacationing halfway down the wall. Ok. Maybe not that far. But, you would practically jab your armpit with the door frame before you found the switch… and I always prayed that a spider wasn’t playing boogie man as I felt the wall.

That’s crawly (not to mention creepy). Continue reading →

The Key To Better Relationships: Stop & Refocus

Posted on by
1

by Christie Perkins

A while back I prayed to find out what I needed to do to be a better mom (that was the gist of the prayer anyway). I wanted a little more mojo between us. Not that the kids and I had a bad relationship but I just wanted more relationship superglue before the teenage years hit. S A I L O R SC L U BYes, I wanted that uber connection-greed associated with moms and their midget genetic counterparts. A specific thought entered my mind:

…get off the computer when the boys get home.

Ah, yes.

Bingo. It was a good idea. I could see the benefit of this counsel. Sometimes those thoughts come and I shift my head back, turn my chin slightly to the side, and scrunch one eyebrow. That? That’s the answer? But not this time. This made perfect sense. Continue reading →

Good Night Kisses

Posted on by
3

by Christie Perkins

Good Night KissesIt’s the same ritual every night. My internal clock alarms me it’s time for bed- but straight to bed is not the route I want.

Not yet.

I take a detour to the boys’ room and flip on the hall light. I’m not worried about waking them up because once they are asleep nothing disrupts their wonderland. Really, I turn the light on because there’s no use blowing kisses into a dark room, my aim may be off and the kiss would be wasted. Continue reading →

Making Spirits Bright

Posted on by
1

by Christie Perkins

Tis the season for making spirits bright. The message is simple: Love, Laugh, Lift.

howperkyworks.com (4)LOVE. See the non-obvious beauty in others. The things that we like about people are easy to see and love. Get to know someone’s true beauty. The best way to do that is to knock down our judgments of others by thinking good things. When I was in 4th grade we read a book about a boy who could read people’s thoughts. I was gullible enough to think that maybe someone really did have that special power.

And it had me on-guard every time I was around people (though I never cared if spiders could hear my thoughts, still don’t care). Continue reading →

How Food and Word Choices Affect How We Feel

Posted on by
2

by Christie Perkins

ostella bistroEverything we say or do is a choice. As a nutritionist I understand the toll of what we put into our mouths on our body.

During my chemo treatments I was amazed at the power of the food on my overall well being. Even though I couldn’t taste what I wiggled down the food tube, I felt better when I ate better- when I ate foods from all of the food groups.

It was a simple choice that affected me as a whole. And even now with fully acting taste buds, I am more keenly aware of how my food choices affect me.

(And, boy, have I been flubbing that up lately. Who eats lemon bars for breakfast? Well, who besides my kids and I? Yep, bad mom moment.) Continue reading →

Be Someone’s Fan

Posted on by
1

When Life Goes Kaput

by Christie Perkins

I was in the 6th grade. I ran for class secretary. I made a little poster up about all the cutesy little reasons you should vote for me. I used each letter of my name to highlight the perfect reason. Oh, they were all good, strong, verb words. Well thought through, great dictionary material. I was sure this was enough to get me what I wanted most in my 6th grade little brain. I was brave…

And overconfident.

2014 Fish Lake with Paxtons 213Not because I was cocky, it was quite the opposite. My face would burst into spontaneous flames if a cute boy glanced my direction- he was probably looking at the girl behind me. Anyway. But, still, no one tries these things unless they think they have a chance.

I remember when they announced my challengers name as winner. I faked a smile and pretended to be excited for her but that fat sour grape stuck in my throat hurt. Where did it come from anyway? It was making my eyes all watery. So, I did what I’ve always done in this type situation. Continue reading →

Change Your Attitude, Change Your Outcome

Posted on by
7

Just Tell Yourself “I’m Making Memories”

by Christie Perkins

“We’re just making memories!”

It was something Grandma always said when plans fizzled, plopped, or dropped; when the days course when askew or blew.

2014 Fish Lake with Paxtons 198

She always said it at the right moment.  At the flicker of a face scrunching episode she would immediately interject the distractor phrase: “we’re just making memories.”  The squished face always detoured and softened to a half smile.

“So true.” It was impossible to disagree and a little chuckle changed my perspective. Continue reading →

Share The Truths You See In Others

Posted on by
3

Build Up Those Around You With Words Of Truth

By Christie Perkins

Germany 6-12 072Gasp.   My little guy drew in his breath.

I was trying to listen to the speaker at church amid an acrobatic stunt.  You see, I was working on crushing my 4 year olds dreams of pursuing his talents… well, at least here on the church bench anyway.

I wasn’t even sure he was listening to the speaker because usually when the jaw’s flapping the ears are slacking.  I was anticipating that the lions and bears would be arriving any time soon. Continue reading →

Twitterpation

Posted on by
2

Finding and Keeping Love

by Christie Perkins

007

Spring’s coming. It’s time to find a man. Classifieds or are you in the comics? No. My lifelong love is in the obituaries. Next place for ideas is slave dungeons.

So.  I created this sign in high school.  And I am happy to admit I did not find my guy in the slave dungeon (although he may have found himself in the slave dungeon when he married me… sorry guy.)

I found my guy in the Human Interest section.  Oh yes I did.

He was checking off the list for me: good with kids, treats me well, always talks me up, most forgiving person I’ve ever met, and showcases a perfect bald head (which I discovered later in marriage… he fashioned the parking lot hairstyle for quite some time).

These are just a few of his perks.  Everyone has their unique set of perks and most likely no two are exactly the same.  Everyone is awesome is some way. Everyone.

And we all have our quirks.

I wrote this poem in high school… I think it can apply well to any relationship.

Continue reading →

The Cancer Whisperer

Posted on by
4

Family History Helped Me Find My Lump

by Christie Perkins

004You know that telephone game?  The one where you whisper in someone’s ear and by the end it gets all messed up.

Yeah, well… that happened to me.

Although it wasn’t a mixed up message but some fabulous tumor instead.  It was passed from generation to generation, until it got to me all mixed up and messed up.  Some static message ended up clunking out 2 types of cancer and 7 tumors (thankfully, only five were malignant).

Oh, the cancer whisperer messed that one up. Continue reading →