Be Someone’s Fan

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When Life Goes Kaput

by Christie Perkins

I was in the 6th grade. I ran for class secretary. I made a little poster up about all the cutesy little reasons you should vote for me. I used each letter of my name to highlight the perfect reason. Oh, they were all good, strong, verb words. Well thought through, great dictionary material. I was sure this was enough to get me what I wanted most in my 6th grade little brain. I was brave…

And overconfident.

2014 Fish Lake with Paxtons 213Not because I was cocky, it was quite the opposite. My face would burst into spontaneous flames if a cute boy glanced my direction- he was probably looking at the girl behind me. Anyway. But, still, no one tries these things unless they think they have a chance.

I remember when they announced my challengers name as winner. I faked a smile and pretended to be excited for her but that fat sour grape stuck in my throat hurt. Where did it come from anyway? It was making my eyes all watery. So, I did what I’ve always done in this type situation. Continue reading →

What Most People Don’t Understand About Hair Loss During Chemo

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Losing Your Hair During Chemo

by Christie Perkins

I hoped I’d be the one.IMG_0011 - Copy

You know, the one who never loses her hair. I wanted to keep all that hair (see picture below). One day I believe my prayers are working that I’ll be that one who never loses her hair and the next moment it goes dead (if hair could ever be called alive). It was like my plump lush flowerpot after one hot day in the sun: withering and lifeless. Just one. That’s all it took was one little chemo treatment.

Continue reading →

Sure Fire Ways To A More Balanced Life

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How to Find Balance After Chemo and Radiation

by Christie Perkins

Fish Lake with Paxtons 041Finding balance after a major setback can be frustrating. After I finished chemo and radiation I believed that life would spring back to “normal” for me.

Preconceived notions are quite humorous. Yep. Hilarious.

For the entire year after treatments I found myself laying on the ground more than I was walking gracefully on any kind of balance beam. Oh, I would get up but it wasn’t long before I was toppling over…

And dreaming peacefully about falsified energy zings & things. Then I’d wake up more behind. “Be patient with yourself,” my doctor would tell me over and over. I was tired of being patient. Hadn’t I spent the entire year before being patient? Continue reading →

People Watching: Changing the Game

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The Sport of People Watching

by Christie Perkins

My 2nd favorite sport is people watching. Yeah, you know, the sport of sitting in a public place and watching how people figure it all out. I’ve never really understood the technicalities of football or the thrill of shopping at a hardware store. Meh. But, I do like lame situations to engage in the sport of people watching.

spring break SD temple, midway, mormon battallion 037To people watch is quite entertaining. I’ve learned a great deal about life. Like how crusty words really sound. How parents handle mini pent up two year old tornadoes. How to scream and get what you want. Or have a meltdown when you don’t. How to strut. How to wear t-shirts mid-gut (but I won’t). Flop, flab, plop…nope. People watching is a tool to help us decide what to do in our own situations.

It can be quite inspirational. What effect does people watching have on you?

Continue reading →

The Perks of a Dinner Disaster

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Crockpot Dinner Flop

by Christie Perkins

Hm? I don’t remember getting chicken wrapped in butcher paper. But lately my memory was bobbing around only at the surface. Any recollections that ran deeper were quite sketchy. Chemo zapped brain cells took credit for all my memory loss moments.

I shrug. Flip, flop, drop.blog crockpot 010

It’s the 2nd meal I cook in my brand new house.

This meal is so stinking easy it’s perfect for my lack of energy.  I just finished radiation the day before and the energy levels are drastically flopping and dropping. I lay down on the couch for a quick nap.

Dinner’s prepped, house is clean… there’s boxes but it’s clean, and I’m blissfully putting last year’s cancer kicking behind me. Ahh. I drift off to a much needed nap. The smell of new paint scrunches my face up in a smile.

I don’t know how long I nap but my nostrils are zapped by a stench. I scowl no, no, no, no! Not in my brand new house. I sit up and glance around the room. Immediately my eyes fall on the crockpot. It’s sweating. I wrinkle my nose.  Ewe, what is that? Continue reading →

How To Keep Your Kids From Turning into Zombies

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Keeping Kids Focused This Summer

By Christie Perkins

I have this thing with electronics. I hate how it sucks brain cells, personality, and turns perfectly innocent adults and children into daytime zombies.

“Time to get off,” I say.blog post zombies 027

“But we’ve only been on a few minutes,” a child shoots back. And once again I have to go into that spill about the time warp trap. “You realize that it contributes to poor reasoning skills.”  Minutes quickly become hours.

Electronics shut down and I can only hear the flutter of eyelashes blinking. Finally someone peeps out, “We’re bored.”

Continue reading →

The Blues of Cancer News

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Accepting God’s Will

by Christie Perkins

So first thing I know I’m in a relentless dizzy whirlwind.  And I’m wondering is it possible to drown in a whirlwind?  And just as fiercely it spits me somewhere in the middle of a silent ocean; on a little rickety row boat I float.  There’s not a breeze, no water licks the sides of the boat, and there’s a shark looming underneath.  I can’t see it, but I feel it in that queasy feeling in my stomach.  My thoughts are loud, extremely loud.  And there’s no escape.

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But I smile.  It’s fake.

I don’t want my kids picking up on my distress signal.  But the warning lights have been flashing for 15 days now.  The biopsy was 8 days ago.  The promised 3-5 day results are overdue.

It is here on this eery ocean I sit quietly and wait for a rescue.   I desperately need a rescue, any rescue.

I’m not so sure I can take one more day of worry.  At this point, any news will soothe. Continue reading →

How To Be a Journal Entry Junkie

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What Kind of a Journal Keeper Are You?

by Christie Perkins

 

So you’re thinking about by-passing this article?  Yeah, hold up. I caught you.

Blog Pics 005

Gasp. (That is actually the echo of your gasp… I could hear it.  Almost.)

I know.  I know.  But, I’ve done my fair share of gasping too when it comes to journals.  It’s pay back.  Let me share my gasps with you and we’ll call it even.  Just hear me out for a minute.

Caution: What you are about to read may be upsetting.  Totally G-rated, but a strong emotional pull if you’re a journal junkie.

Continue reading →

The Famous Yes or No Dilemma

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Do You Tell Your Mom No?

by Christie Perkins

“Do you tell your Mom no?”  I squared up to my preschool child.  His beautiful eyes and sweet smile weren’t getting him out of this one.  No way.

“Yes,”  he said matter of factly.Perkins Family 08-12 01-13 037

Obviously he didn’t get it.

I don’t even remember the misbehavior now but I was trying to nip the sassy fast.  He stood still watching me with the whites of my eyes widening and the tip of my finger aimed at his nose.  I’m not really sure what pointing does but it seems to be a 4 star travel agent of discipline: it’s the quick, fast, cheaper method.

One more time.  I pronounced the words more slowly.  I guess, technically, I should have used the word “should” instead of “do,” but this technique comes at a higher leveled thinking.

Um, yeah.  That’s it. Continue reading →

What? There’s Rain on My Parade!

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Tips to Overcoming a Change of Plans

by Christie Perkins

Perkins Family 08-12 01-13 034I have always loved the rain.  I like how it dusts off blades of grass and paints everything Crayola green.  I love the way it smells and how the chill of cool fresh air brushes my cheeks and curls around the back of my neck.  I love the tap dance of rain on cement and the grand applause from the rooftop.

I stop everything I am doing, rush to find a blanket, and hustle the kids outside.  We know it will only last a moment.  Poof!  Umbrellas pop and hover and stories emerge.  I flip out a smile when I watch temperature resistant kids submerge bare feet in puddles.  Goose bump inspired thoughts cause me to tug my blanket in just a bit tighter.  Continue reading →