Category Archives: A Perky Life

Guaranteed Picture Perfect Moments

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by Christie Perkins

Sometimes we think we know what is best for us.

Yeah, we think we have it all figured all out. You know, it’s the perfect, flawless, plan. In our heads the picture is complete. We actually think we know all of the details of what is best for us. And then (because we claim the teenage syndrome of “all knowing”) sometimes question why prayers aren’t being answered. We wonder if we are being heard at all.

Guaranteed Picture Perfect MomentsBut if we step back we will realize that our picture’s not quite perfect: we are just a kindergartners attempting to draw the perfect picture. As an adult it is easy to see that a person has shoulders, not just arms protruding from a neck that’s the same size as our thighs and hips. And there’s more to a simple line for our lips. A scraggly lined lip isn’t really fire engine red but a soft muted mauve.

Experience and prior mistakes in our own drawings tell us so. (Well that and my high school art teacher… who knew the eyeballs are not actually positioned on our hairline?) Continue reading →

Stop Swishing Around in the Bucket List

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Christie Perkins

When it comes to bucket lists, I have a very tiny bucket. You know the kind that act as a Barbie house decoration rather than a dowsing pot? It’s small not because of the time factor (psh, we are going to squish a lot of time out of this cancer journey) but because my wish list is small.

I should do something about that.Stop Swishing Around In Your Bucket List 5 Things You Shouldn't Leave Off Your List(1)

Anyway. So, last week I was able to slop a little something out of my bucket. I squealed when I saw the river, who cares that I was in a car full of mostly strangers. Decades of my chained up wish list was finally breaking free. I couldn’t help it, the swirly twirl in my stomach just burst into sunshine confetti. Never mind the muddy river and 105 degree weather.

Today, I was going river rafting. Continue reading →

How Dealing with Cancer is Like Building a House

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by Christie Perkins

If you have ever built a house you know the deep ditch neuro pathways you carve from overthinking details.

You even sometimes dream about the process… or have nightmares.

“She turned to the sunlight And shook her yellow head,And whispered to her neighbor_ _Winter is dead.”(1)You have lived in other places and you quickly categorize what you like and don’t like. You adopt and adapt from previous experience the things you should do for the next house. But some things you take for granted, like the placement of plugs. You don’t really think about those details because someone else does the thinking for that.

Unless you’ve had a bad experience with that.

In my last house I had one light switch in a bedroom that was vacationing halfway down the wall. Ok. Maybe not that far. But, you would practically jab your armpit with the door frame before you found the switch… and I always prayed that a spider wasn’t playing boogie man as I felt the wall.

That’s crawly (not to mention creepy). Continue reading →

Midnight Money Tree: Taking the 10:30 Courtesy

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by Christie Perkins

“I can’t take this. No,” I said as I lay staring at what appears to be a 20 dollar bill.

I plopped into bed early, in fact it was an hour and a half earlier than usual. Who knows if the kids made it to bed tonight but I was exhausted and they would just have to figure it all out tonight. One night shouldn’t hurt. I should have gone to bed earlier but we had to muddle through the speedy version of family night and tack on the ritual scripture reading and prayer. I wonder if tonight’s thoughtless attempt really counted… I don’t really want to know.

(Yes, I’ll just close my eyes and pretend it’s all ok.)

The Midnight Money Tree Taking the 10_30 Courtesy(1) But, I knew I wouldn’t be able to sleep if we didn’t get that done for the day. So check, check, check. Immediately after getting our family night done I found myself snuggled up in bed. My exhausted body wouldn’t quite slip into dreamland quick enough though. So I laid there thinking instead. Think. Think. Blink. Blink. How is it that when you are most tired you are least likely to sleep? It’s a mystery I’ve never been able to figure out.

All the better that I couldn’t sleep, I suppose. I’ve been having weird dreams lately. Continue reading →

Trust. Follow. Find.

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by Christie Perkins

My doctor appointments were 2 weeks apart. I had just seen my oncologist and everything checked out fine. There were some new things I had to consider concerning preventative measures but I was walking straight down the line of fine, as far as we could tell. I was tempted to cancel the second appointment, the one with my radiation doc. What possibly could pop up in 2 weeks?

It was ridiculous because I was seeing this doctor for the same thing anyway: checking on the well being of my situation.

I’m good.Trust. Follow. Find.

For some time I had been contemplating ditching my doctor appointments altogether. If I was okay, then what was the point. I was plotting a new plan of action: call the cancer center and tell them that I was graduating myself to 6 month check ups. Yes, I liked this thought. Though, yes, I liked seeing my great doctors and staff on a personal level but seriously? This frequent visiting was useless and it was eating my money.

Twice a year should suffice. Continue reading →

My Love-Bucket of Thanks is Overfilling

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by Christie Perkins

All I have is a measly little thank you. It doesn’t quite cover it. My heart is exploding into a million little warm love-buckets and all I can say is thank you. It seems so shallow to the depth of gratitude I feel.

The generosity of others is incredible.

So thank you. Thank you to all the anonymous and non-anonymous people who pray often, or pray once in my behalf. I feel those prayers. I thrive and survive on those prayers.

Literally.

My Love- Bucket of Thanks Is OverfillingAnd you tell me “I don’t do much” or “I don’t do enough”. Oh, that’s what you think. Your little prayer is a ray of hope and sunshine in my heart. Your little prayer becomes a strength beyond my own, petitioning to a higher power who knows just what to do. Your little prayer gives me comfort. Your little prayer does so much more than you realize.

I see a multitude of nameless faces but feel the hands of many bearing me up. To most, I don’t know who to thank and it troubles me that I can’t personally hug you and thank you for carrying my burdens. Continue reading →

When Positivity Goes Kerplunk

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by Christie Perkins

So I’m living in some crazy warped time zone. It comes with the territory of “cancer news” I suppose. In the easy-load-mode I’m scheduling my daily “to do’s” and suddenly I’m thrust into the cancer twilight zone.

It’s eerie.

When PositivityIt’s eerie because the days are long. In my normal world I’ve found myself wishing to squeeze more hours out of the day. Cancer news becomes that wish granter. It’s very generous at stretching out the days. Nice little guy.

So, suddenly I find myself saying, “Wow! Was that just yesterday? It seems so long ago.” Time is no longer my own. Oh boy, is it not at all. Faceless strangers begin writing their little memos on my to do list: doctors, phone calls, return calls, surgeries, temporary kid shifting (thank you all), check ups, check outs, checkbook hocking procedures followed by twisted facial locking procedures. Continue reading →

Have To; Need To: Knowing the Difference

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by Christie Perkins

Have To; Need ToDo You Know the Difference_Today’s going to be different. I’m dropping what I have to do for what I need to do. Today won’t be filled with perfecting a blog, crunching my time to meet a deadline, and stealing my midnight dream opportunities for what has to be done.

My brain and body is going to love this.

Sure. There will be things I “have” to do. Yes. I will eat. But, I’m not just going to shove food down the hatch to satiate the grumbling tummy so I can get to the next thing. I’m going to picnic on my already cruddy floors with my preschool child. We are going to yak about pigs, friends, and monsters. And we are going to put a few more crumbs on the floor.

We are going to connect. Continue reading →

Top 10 Reasons You Need a New Phone

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by Christie Perkins

Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be noYep. That’s my real phone right there. It’s a beauty. I guess I should tell you it was my phone. Was. I took the bridge over to the new world and updated my phone. But I think I needed a special tribute, so here goes. This new phone is the second phone I’ve ever owned. It has a special place in my heart. Farewell. I will miss your troubles.

Psh, yeah right. Continue reading →

The Key To Better Relationships: Stop & Refocus

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by Christie Perkins

A while back I prayed to find out what I needed to do to be a better mom (that was the gist of the prayer anyway). I wanted a little more mojo between us. Not that the kids and I had a bad relationship but I just wanted more relationship superglue before the teenage years hit. S A I L O R SC L U BYes, I wanted that uber connection-greed associated with moms and their midget genetic counterparts. A specific thought entered my mind:

…get off the computer when the boys get home.

Ah, yes.

Bingo. It was a good idea. I could see the benefit of this counsel. Sometimes those thoughts come and I shift my head back, turn my chin slightly to the side, and scrunch one eyebrow. That? That’s the answer? But not this time. This made perfect sense. Continue reading →