Author Archives: Christie Perkins

About Christie Perkins

I'm just and ordinary girl (yes, girl) who loves life. After a battle with chemo, radiation, and two types of breast cancer I can't help but see the perks of every day. I celebrate life by writing and loving more deeply. Couldn't be happier. I live in Utah with my husband and four boys.

When Angels Leave This Life

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Survivors Guilt

by Christie Perkins

Untitled designI have three contacts in my phone I can no longer use. Anita, Sheree, and now Lori. All cancer friends. I can’t bring myself to erase these contacts, as if having them in my phone somehow keeps them close to me.

A flood of memories rush in when I see their name flash across as I’m scrolling for another contact. For a brief moment my heart goes soft and I am touched by their goodness. The memory of their smile greets me in this moment. I can almost hear their voice, their laughter comforting me and telling me that though there are hard times there is much sunshine.

I just can’t push “erase.” Continue reading →

Heavenly Hashbrowns

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by Christie Perkins

Heavenly Hashbrowns (1)They were just hashbrowns. How hard could they be?

Well, since I was newly married and highly unexperienced in meal dealing (but wanted to impress my beau with my presumed amazing cooking skills… ahem, yes, presumed) I offered to take the hashbrown portion of the meal.

And that was the first wrong step.

My guy helped peel and cube the potatoes. Now, in any ordinary circumstance I would have turned to the skimp-on-valuable-time method (thank you frozen bag section). But, since we were camping, a bag of potatoes was our current resource. Continue reading →

Grateful for the Handless Stinkbug Twirl

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Let the Little Things Change You

by Christie Perkins

We live for inspirational moments. Well I do, anyway.

Sometimes I will seek out inspirational quotes or messages online and find great delight in its effect on me. I rerun it over and over in my head.

But I especially love it when the day’s forward motion strikes an inspirational moment and I’m changed for the better. My own personal inspirational moment.

2015 Aug PLeasant Creek Campground 025So, I’ve had a thought that keeps pegging me: I wonder how many times I miss some inspirational moment? I miss it because I’m too stuck on the mundane task ahead of me. I miss it because I’m too busy thinking about what’s next. And I miss it because I fail to think about how it can apply to me.

And sometimes it catches me by surprise. I remember one instance nearly a decade ago that still influences me. It was such a little thing with big impact.

Continue reading →

How Volcano Day Warmed My Soul

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Cancer and Volcano Eruptions

by Christie Perkins

It was just the 5th grade volcano day.

For any other parent it would have been one of those dreaded weekend cram sessions of twirling homework hurling. But for me, life was erupting and spewing fresh hot lava down new paths.

Yep. Good old cancer diagnosis blew 5 days before volcano day.volcano day 012

The week I was diagnosed with cancer my life erupted and everything came to a halt. It seemed that all I could see was the lava flow of cancer. It was consuming me. Not that I was depressed, necessarily, but I was overwhelmed by the details of it.

One day I’m planning the sweet details of my own life and the next day my health care concerns are charring in life’s little fire. It’s like those sugared almonds I have trouble with. In one minute it’s looking good and then then next moment they are eyepopping black-ish. It’s the elite cancer lava plan I just got thrown into. Continue reading →

Hard Times are Holy Places

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by Christie Perkins

Hard times are holy places.

That’s how I’ve come to feel about some of the most difficult times in my life. As I walked through cancer I could feel the power of God carrying me. What a sweet experience to feel snug, nestled in God’s hand.

He was very close.

 

Alone In Struggles

2015 st. george narrows and temple, etc 140But, there have been times when I have felt alone in my struggles. Times when I wondered if there was a soul in the world who knew my pain. In middle school I remember having a particularly difficult day. Now, since I’ve long surpassed middle school, the technicalities of the troubles are unclear to me.

I am certain the problems were minor compared to some of the things I have since faced, but at this little pixel point in my life it was a heavy burden to me.

As I pondered on solutions, I was stumped about answers to my troubles. Only the sound of tires grabbing the road could calm me. And concentration on my momentary road abode was just a temporary escape from the real issue, the constant noise took my mind off it all. Continue reading →

Back to School Goals: Aim Lower

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by Christie Perkins

I’m you’re classical textbook mom. I always encourage my kids to do their best. It’s okay if they aren’t number one, it’s okay if they miss spelling words, it’s okay to mess up every once in a while as long as they do their best unless, of course, it comes to chores then I acclimate to” Rewind and Repeat Mom”.

But, for the most part, life’s little stabs of imperfection are cushioned by smiles and circular back rubs.

So, here comes another school year where we encourage, prod, and nod perfect efforts regardless of perfect scores. It’s the effort that matters, right? Continue reading →

Survival Tips for Shopping with Boys

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Shakes, Deals, and Lizard Tails

by Christie Perkins

2014 Horney Toad 008Shakes, and deals, and lizard tails (oops)… that’s what shopping with boys are made of.

Have you ever gone clothing shopping with boys? I don’t know what it is but there’s something mis-wired in their brains that turns them off to shopping. If I allowed, there would be grown men and boys sitting and a tantrum-fitting on the floor of the store trying to induce a man made clothing tornado.

But, they don’t. They know better.

Me. Well, I could spend hours in a store checking everything out, trying on clothes and making the best selection. But, a major miscalculation occurs when one mom takes four boys shopping. Continue reading →

Just do 7 things a week

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Making Lists

By Christie Perkins

I read a book by Stephen R. Covey many years ago that changed the way I spend my week. Since I’m a textbook nerd I’ll skip the high tech definitions and get right to the point. You’ll appreciate the shortcut version, I’m sure.

2014 Fish Lake with Paxtons 207But first you must know I’m a huge list maker. I thrive off lists. It’s not so much the list that I like but it’s the check marks that complete me. I like to feel productive. It’s my twisted sugar rush.

So you must know that list making can be a bit of a problem. On one particular unproductive day I couldn’t stand the fact that I wasn’t getting anything done so I actually created a list that I could check off the things I had already done that day. Oh, what a pitiful list. When you have to actually write down brush your teeth and get dressed as a “to do” item you can assume my noon to moon list was doomed to other menial tasks.

So, yep, it was lame. Continue reading →

Be Someone’s Fan

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When Life Goes Kaput

by Christie Perkins

I was in the 6th grade. I ran for class secretary. I made a little poster up about all the cutesy little reasons you should vote for me. I used each letter of my name to highlight the perfect reason. Oh, they were all good, strong, verb words. Well thought through, great dictionary material. I was sure this was enough to get me what I wanted most in my 6th grade little brain. I was brave…

And overconfident.

2014 Fish Lake with Paxtons 213Not because I was cocky, it was quite the opposite. My face would burst into spontaneous flames if a cute boy glanced my direction- he was probably looking at the girl behind me. Anyway. But, still, no one tries these things unless they think they have a chance.

I remember when they announced my challengers name as winner. I faked a smile and pretended to be excited for her but that fat sour grape stuck in my throat hurt. Where did it come from anyway? It was making my eyes all watery. So, I did what I’ve always done in this type situation. Continue reading →

What Most People Don’t Understand About Hair Loss During Chemo

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Losing Your Hair During Chemo

by Christie Perkins

I hoped I’d be the one.IMG_0011 - Copy

You know, the one who never loses her hair. I wanted to keep all that hair (see picture below). One day I believe my prayers are working that I’ll be that one who never loses her hair and the next moment it goes dead (if hair could ever be called alive). It was like my plump lush flowerpot after one hot day in the sun: withering and lifeless. Just one. That’s all it took was one little chemo treatment.

Continue reading →