Author Archives: Christie Perkins

About Christie Perkins

I'm just and ordinary girl (yes, girl) who loves life. After a battle with chemo, radiation, and two types of breast cancer I can't help but see the perks of every day. I celebrate life by writing and loving more deeply. Couldn't be happier. I live in Utah with my husband and four boys.

Midnight Money Tree: Taking the 10:30 Courtesy

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by Christie Perkins

“I can’t take this. No,” I said as I lay staring at what appears to be a 20 dollar bill.

I plopped into bed early, in fact it was an hour and a half earlier than usual. Who knows if the kids made it to bed tonight but I was exhausted and they would just have to figure it all out tonight. One night shouldn’t hurt. I should have gone to bed earlier but we had to muddle through the speedy version of family night and tack on the ritual scripture reading and prayer. I wonder if tonight’s thoughtless attempt really counted… I don’t really want to know.

(Yes, I’ll just close my eyes and pretend it’s all ok.)

The Midnight Money Tree Taking the 10_30 Courtesy(1) But, I knew I wouldn’t be able to sleep if we didn’t get that done for the day. So check, check, check. Immediately after getting our family night done I found myself snuggled up in bed. My exhausted body wouldn’t quite slip into dreamland quick enough though. So I laid there thinking instead. Think. Think. Blink. Blink. How is it that when you are most tired you are least likely to sleep? It’s a mystery I’ve never been able to figure out.

All the better that I couldn’t sleep, I suppose. I’ve been having weird dreams lately. Continue reading →

Trust. Follow. Find.

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by Christie Perkins

My doctor appointments were 2 weeks apart. I had just seen my oncologist and everything checked out fine. There were some new things I had to consider concerning preventative measures but I was walking straight down the line of fine, as far as we could tell. I was tempted to cancel the second appointment, the one with my radiation doc. What possibly could pop up in 2 weeks?

It was ridiculous because I was seeing this doctor for the same thing anyway: checking on the well being of my situation.

I’m good.Trust. Follow. Find.

For some time I had been contemplating ditching my doctor appointments altogether. If I was okay, then what was the point. I was plotting a new plan of action: call the cancer center and tell them that I was graduating myself to 6 month check ups. Yes, I liked this thought. Though, yes, I liked seeing my great doctors and staff on a personal level but seriously? This frequent visiting was useless and it was eating my money.

Twice a year should suffice. Continue reading →

My Love-Bucket of Thanks is Overfilling

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by Christie Perkins

All I have is a measly little thank you. It doesn’t quite cover it. My heart is exploding into a million little warm love-buckets and all I can say is thank you. It seems so shallow to the depth of gratitude I feel.

The generosity of others is incredible.

So thank you. Thank you to all the anonymous and non-anonymous people who pray often, or pray once in my behalf. I feel those prayers. I thrive and survive on those prayers.

Literally.

My Love- Bucket of Thanks Is OverfillingAnd you tell me “I don’t do much” or “I don’t do enough”. Oh, that’s what you think. Your little prayer is a ray of hope and sunshine in my heart. Your little prayer becomes a strength beyond my own, petitioning to a higher power who knows just what to do. Your little prayer gives me comfort. Your little prayer does so much more than you realize.

I see a multitude of nameless faces but feel the hands of many bearing me up. To most, I don’t know who to thank and it troubles me that I can’t personally hug you and thank you for carrying my burdens. Continue reading →

When Positivity Goes Kerplunk

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by Christie Perkins

So I’m living in some crazy warped time zone. It comes with the territory of “cancer news” I suppose. In the easy-load-mode I’m scheduling my daily “to do’s” and suddenly I’m thrust into the cancer twilight zone.

It’s eerie.

When PositivityIt’s eerie because the days are long. In my normal world I’ve found myself wishing to squeeze more hours out of the day. Cancer news becomes that wish granter. It’s very generous at stretching out the days. Nice little guy.

So, suddenly I find myself saying, “Wow! Was that just yesterday? It seems so long ago.” Time is no longer my own. Oh boy, is it not at all. Faceless strangers begin writing their little memos on my to do list: doctors, phone calls, return calls, surgeries, temporary kid shifting (thank you all), check ups, check outs, checkbook hocking procedures followed by twisted facial locking procedures. Continue reading →

How Cancer Changed My Grocery Shopping Excursion

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by Christie Perkins

Cancer has changed me.

Before cancer I would grocery shop. Hustle, bustle, grumble, toss. It was just shopping, right? But, really, the thing I liked most about shopping was the people I would brush you're the greatest!against. When I think about it, this random people connection is really the only perk to grocery shopping. I would stand behind my cart and voluntarily hand out smile samples to random nameless go cart racers.

I liked greeting strangers. And to the familiar faces I would give a hey-holler. Personally, I like it when people want to see me, so I assume others like it when I see them. So I ding them with a smile.

It’s simple. But, it’s what I do when I shop. It’s how I shop. Continue reading →

Cancer: Episode 2

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by Christie Perkins

Funny how Heavenly Father has been helping me all along.

You know how sometimes you do things and you think that you are helping someone else. You hope and think you are changing the world in some small way. Your impressions to do certain things are so strong and as you follow them you are certain that someone was being helped by you and your efforts.

But then I realized something: this was all meant for me.

Cancer_ Episode 2All of this stressing, and worrying, and thinking, and planning, and writing was all for me. I was guided and prompted… and reminded of the goodness of God. I prayed many times that whoever needed these words on my blog would feel them and benefit from them. Heavenly Father in His goodness and kindness was telling me eternal truths that I felt so passionately about. I prayed that I would reach that one person who truly needed it.

I had no idea that that one person would be me. Continue reading →

Have To; Need To: Knowing the Difference

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by Christie Perkins

Have To; Need ToDo You Know the Difference_Today’s going to be different. I’m dropping what I have to do for what I need to do. Today won’t be filled with perfecting a blog, crunching my time to meet a deadline, and stealing my midnight dream opportunities for what has to be done.

My brain and body is going to love this.

Sure. There will be things I “have” to do. Yes. I will eat. But, I’m not just going to shove food down the hatch to satiate the grumbling tummy so I can get to the next thing. I’m going to picnic on my already cruddy floors with my preschool child. We are going to yak about pigs, friends, and monsters. And we are going to put a few more crumbs on the floor.

We are going to connect. Continue reading →

Top 10 Reasons You Need a New Phone

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by Christie Perkins

Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be noYep. That’s my real phone right there. It’s a beauty. I guess I should tell you it was my phone. Was. I took the bridge over to the new world and updated my phone. But I think I needed a special tribute, so here goes. This new phone is the second phone I’ve ever owned. It has a special place in my heart. Farewell. I will miss your troubles.

Psh, yeah right. Continue reading →

The Key To Better Relationships: Stop & Refocus

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by Christie Perkins

A while back I prayed to find out what I needed to do to be a better mom (that was the gist of the prayer anyway). I wanted a little more mojo between us. Not that the kids and I had a bad relationship but I just wanted more relationship superglue before the teenage years hit. S A I L O R SC L U BYes, I wanted that uber connection-greed associated with moms and their midget genetic counterparts. A specific thought entered my mind:

…get off the computer when the boys get home.

Ah, yes.

Bingo. It was a good idea. I could see the benefit of this counsel. Sometimes those thoughts come and I shift my head back, turn my chin slightly to the side, and scrunch one eyebrow. That? That’s the answer? But not this time. This made perfect sense. Continue reading →

Wowzers! New Year’s Goals That Actually Work

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By Christie PErkins

new years goals

I love new starts. It’s why I love the roll over of a new year, daylight savings (yes, I’m one of the endangered few that actually likes daylight savings time), a new school year, St. Patricks Day, Sunday’s, a new bottle of shampoo or toothpaste.

Ah.

New starts are like de-junking the house. It’s our renewed effort to ditch shabby habits for new and improved habits. Often I make trite, tight, new goals to organize, improve health habits, and develop talents. Blah, blah, blah. Continue reading →