Author Archives: Christie Perkins

About Christie Perkins

I'm just and ordinary girl (yes, girl) who loves life. After a battle with chemo, radiation, and two types of breast cancer I can't help but see the perks of every day. I celebrate life by writing and loving more deeply. Couldn't be happier. I live in Utah with my husband and four boys.

Finding Peace in Impossible Circumstances

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by Christie Perkins

My medical records now have a new permanent line: liver metastases. We wondered if we could just cut out the new tumors in the liver but the doctor says that it won’t do any good because with stage 4 cancer there are just cancer cells everywhere. We don’t ever really get rid of it we just try and keep it from spreading.

Oh yeah. That’s right.

Little factoid here: Breast cancer that has metastasized (stage 4 cancer) loves to travel to the bones, the ovaries, the brain, and the liver. I’ve eliminated the ovaries (neener-neener can’t catch me), checked the brain, and am already hosting a party in the bones, and now it’s in the liver.

But, don’t you stress now.

(We are trying to keep the cancer tourists from hearing about this new premium prime location- so shhhh! Don’t mention it.) It’s true, it’s not exactly the best news but the way I see it- they are just a few wimpy spots anyway. But the thing I can’t quite shake is the peace. Yeah, the peace. No matter what, it won’t leave me.

I like it. Continue reading →

The Power of Pains

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by Christie Perkins

Tears at bedtime are not all that uncommon. It’s because there is pain. Hunger pains that is. These hunger pains become the outrageous Water Meter Reader.

And it’s not me crying… it’s my little guy.

Now I’ve learned a thing or two about pain in my cancer journey. Most of the time I’m feeling alright but there are times when I understand good old physical pain. Mostly it is in my hip (prime vacation tumor location). I can admit tho, that most of the time I feel quite normal. In fact I feel great!

But, in the reconstruction phase of my cancer journey there have been moments of intense pain (I’ll save that for another post), so I could relate to this little hunger pain.

Yet, I’m not very compassionate.

I’m not compassionate because I’ve slaved in the kitchen a-fixin’ the meal and all I get is a squeal- “I don’t like it,” he says. Continue reading →

How I Landed My Brain MRI; New Findings

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by Christie PErkiNS

This all started with my “trip” to  in Home Depot. I was just checking out lights. Luckily it was just my husband, me, and my random eyewitness that was on the aisle.

The floor was incredibly flat and smooth, not slick even a niche. Then poof! I dropped from eyesight. It’s like a magic trick. You know how tricks like this work: you see it, but you don’t.

How in the world can you fall on that? “That,” meaning nothing. I question my trick.

But, since my eyewitness was mentally documenting my fall and my husband had that quizzical look on his face I decided to fool them again. I pretended nothing happened. But the cock-eyed looks from the gents on the aisle made me splash out a smile, a chuckle, and a shrug.

Lets just forget that… moving along.

A couple of days later I’m in the granite store and we do a repeat trick. Wow. Fabulous moments going on here. Always getting the same quizzical look and silent words reverberate loud and clear in my ear…

What in the world?

My finale is always the same though: a smile, oops eyes, and a shrug. And the next several days I continue to fall when I walk. I trip on a thin cardboard box, the end of the broom- the straw fluffy-puff end, not the handle.

People begin booking my stunts. Continue reading →

Organizing Tip: 100 Item Dash

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by Christie Perkins

So I wake up every morning greeted by the mod podge dumpings just beyond the foot of my bed. Some of it is new stuff that needs new places, some of it old. Hello! The pile is a little more chipper than I am at it’s rude awakening.

Ta-dah!

Hey, I say then run away. I like you and all but my spaces are small, you look comfortable there next to the wall. But, it’s about time I combat my inner brawl.

You (pile of things) have out-stayed your welcome. I keep feeding you more and more things because… because, well, you look hungry. Yeah, that’s it. You eat everything that anyone feeds you, rejecting no offers (Dude! even dilapidated Christmas bows and useless empty boxes that stow… this pile just grows and grows!). You suck my energy then expect me to pick up after you. You are sleeping at the foot of my bed, and though you don’t snore your drooling all over the place. I like you. I do. I just need my own space of sunshine and grace.

And then the solution to the problem I got: you just need your own-grown name-plot spot.

Well. There’s a sunrise moment if you’ve never seen one. (And since I would rather close my eyes to it, it festered like an oozy zit… ok, I’ll stop this rhyming fit.)

Maybe. Continue reading →

Just One New Year’s Goal That Packs a Punch!

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by Christie Perins

No regrets: It’s the phrase that’s been clinking around in my head for a couple of months now.

Every year a new theme surfaces. I grab hold. It’s as if I have been mixing around all the things I’ve been wanting to focus on this year and the cream for the upcoming year rises to the top. Ooh, I want that! I tell myself. I want something a little more than I had last year.

I want a year of no regrets.

This phrase, of course, stems from regrets. Everyone has them. I think regrets are a tender mercy. It’s a learning moment that bump scoots you to a better road ahead. Or it stop plops you in a muddy path… but that’s not an option we want to choose, right?

I have simple regrets like wishing I spent more time with the kids, that I maximized my efforts, that I was more organized, that I connected better with those close to me; that sugar balls weren’t a food group. Most of the regrets are simple regrets. I even regret not hitting the text books more (yeah, remember I’m boring like that… it’s fine we can still be friends).

Anyway, this phrase surfaced right to the top. Yes, I want of year of no regrets.

I like it. Continue reading →

Caught Up In The Rush?

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by Christie Perkins

The busy inns turned away Mary and Joseph. Too much going on. What they didn’t realize was that there was a special little package arriving. A package that even they would need: the Christ child and His gifts to us.

If only they knew they simply needed to just let Him in. Yes, the inns were full (much like my own Christmas rush days- except full of things to do). What I didn’t realize is that I have to “make room” for Him.

It doesn’t just happen all on it’s own. I learned this lesson last week. Continue reading →

The Mysterious Masked Ma’am

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by Christie Perkins

It’s not Halloween. Yet, she sports a mysterious mask. And, quite frankly, it doesn’t match her outfit. So what’s the deal?

the-mysterious-masked-maamYeah. Well. Thank you white blood cells. It’s official: my white blood cells have turned into couch potatoes.

The doc expected the cells to perform in a week and in two weeks they were still on vacation being lazy and making me a little stir crazy. So I decided to venture out. But of course I take my baby blue mask to filter out germs.

I miss human life forms.

I put it on and only my eyes lop over the top. Holy cow this is not what I was imagining. Couldn’t they make it slip just over the lips? I feel… noticeable (to say the least) as it covers my entire face. My makeup job this morning was a waste. Yay. But I wear lipstick anyway. It makes me feel better. This mask is fabulous for a back row kind of gal. Wow. Well. At least if I get lost I’ll have my SOS gear intact. Continue reading →

Thanksgiving’s More Than Just Giving Thanks

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by Christie Perkins

Thanksgiving habit immediately kicked in. I woke up automatically thinking about what I was most grateful for: my husband, my kids, my extended family, the offering of stuffing but the right to refuse it, and grateful for another day. I’m always thankful for another day (and I always refuse stuffing).

Then it hit me what the true meaning of Thanksgiving was. The why we celebrate came with more force.

thanksgivings-more-than-just-giving-thanks3Thanksgiving isn’t about just shooting off a list of things we are thankful for. Though, yes, it’s a great practice. But, it’s so much more. And since I couldn’t shake it, I thought I would share why my heart appears to be swimming in jacuzzi’s water.

Ah. Feels so nice. (I hope your heart gets all bubbly warm too). The message is simple.

That first Thanksgiving was symbolic of two very different people who learned to get along. Two people who would not have become friends on their own but circumstance brought them together. It was about struggling and depending on one another. Needing one another. Especially the pilgrims needing the experience of the Native Americans. It was about learning from one another and breaking down walls of pride. It was seeing the value of someone different and realizing they, too, have something valuable to offer and share. Continue reading →

It’s Not To Late For a Gratitude Switcheroo

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by Christie PErkins

(Reposted from November 2015. Yep making this easy on me this month.)

Don’t just look for a reason to be grateful, give someone the reason to be.

howperkyworks.com (3)Typically the month of November is a time we focus on all of the things that we are grateful for. I love it. It’s so nice to evaluate the good things in our lives. To recognize all those things that have been squished against our noses but somehow failed to see.

So typically we find reasons to be grateful. We list them on construction paper turkey feathers, die cut leaves, or more permanently- in our journals, etc. We display them somewhere (well, maybe not the journal that could be… intrusive) so we can remember all the goodness that life offers. Regardless, it’s a snazzy little thing that softens our complaint list in the month of November.

It’s nice. It’s needed. Continue reading →

Neutropenia Plunk (And A Sweet Story of Love)

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by Christie Perkins

First off I must tell you that feel fine. I lack energy, but I always lack energy so it’s fine. I went to the doctor last week and got my results back from my cat scan. I’ve been feeling really good about it and rightfully so. I have found that for the most part it looks good. Nothing additional-tumorous to worry about. Yay!

I love emotional paydays.

neutropenia-kerplunkYet, my neutrophils are misbehaving. They’ve taken a plunk. So a little factoid here: normal range of neutrophils are between 2.5 and 6.0. Mine are a whopping 0.3 (yeah that’s zero point three). They call that neutropenia. (Puts your doctor in shock.)

It’s a bit lame as you get to evaluate your 4 walls while you wait for the neutrophils to get in order. Instead of me running amuck I’m stuck. I go lazy so they can go crazy. Meh. I avoid crowds, and germ infested guests, anyone with vaccinations (and carrying a live virus), and broccoli, cauliflower, and raspberries (because it’s difficult to wash thouroughly). So random right? And of course, I’ve been craving broccoli lately.

La-ti-dah. It’s a low key life when you are neutropenic. Continue reading →